I recently joined and only posted once. I can barely function between all the things that are going on with my ADHD spouse and lack of resposibiity and having to put our farm up for sale, surgury on daughter with Down's Syndrome who resides with us and is a sweetheart and now he again needs surgury which after going thru many surguries he does not handle with much emotion other than anger and that being directed at me. I can't concentrate. As I'm typing this I'm wondering why try anymore. 13 years of a second marriage and it has just been a nitemare at times. I have lost my identity and desire to even keep going except for my daughter. My other 3 children are out on there own. Therapy, med, been there done that. Promises and promises never kept. So much financial destruction and so much responsibility on my shouldars. Yes it is like having a teenager to be responsible for. I feel numb sometimes as I feel so trapped and like there is no way out except divorce. I don't know that I have any feelings for him or if they are buried under alot of anger and hurt. I can't even begin to explain what it has been like and assume that I don't need to as I'm sure you have all been there in some way or another being new to the forum. I try not to get into self pity and some days that is easier than others. I am just emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. I don't trust him at all and can't depend on him to be a husband or provider. I just need to know I am not alone and that somehow someway my daughter and my life will get better, because right now I feel like I am slowly dying.