I didn't get to say goodbye.

Short version of my story goes like this: 


My husband had ADHD, but he coped with it extremely well and made it work for him. He got a different job, and during a long night working on a project (spreadsheet stuff - not ADHD friendly) a friend, who also had ADHD, offered him adderall to "make it work." It worked incredibly well, but instead of seeking professional help, he started self medicating. Fast forward almost a year. My kids and I moved out when his adderall habit reached 200 mg daily and he lost control of his anger.

I've tried to get him help in every way I could contrive. Family, friends, forcing him, bribing him, begging him, leaving. My kids and I moved 1000 miles to get away from him and he quit his job and followed us. Now I have a restraining order because he tried to hit me in church, stalked me, harassed my family and friends...

I fell in love with him because of the passion and creativity that ADHD gave him, and I am leaving now because of the ADHD fueled drug abuse. The part that is killing me is that between the man I married and the man who takes pills, he never told me. I never got a chance to say goodbye. And now I won't get that chance because he is so far gone down the path that drug abuse takes.