Submitted by Jwill on 01/19/2013.
I keep doing the wrong things.
My wife really needed me tonight and I messed up again. I thought I was doing great supporting my wife as her grandfather was dying of cancer. His funeral was today. I fell asleep before her with out giving her the support she needed. This was such bad timing. Such a big day to mess up. I'm so scared I have lost her. She awoke me and was so upset with me. And once again I did not comprehend where I went wrong until she had to spell it out. She gave me back the key pendant necklace I gave her for christmas. she told me it was really pretty but I really don't get it and I'm am now miles away from her again and may never get back.
Apologize profusely,
Submitted by lynnie70 on
Apologize profusely, sincerely ask her what kind of things you could have done to support her, LISTEN WITHOUT ARGUING WITH WHAT SHE SAYS (nodding and agreeing and showing you understand what she is saying), and ask her how you can make it up to her. And do what she says. Don't tell her any reasons why you didn't do it. Move immediately to reconcilatory ACTION.
One therapist told my X, "Just because you forget something doesn't mean you are off the hook. You still have to make it right."
Don't know your circumstances, but nons frequently think ADHDers are just making excuses for their mistakes and are all talk and no action (and we have trouble not attributing it to laziness, not caring, etc.). Show her you are willing (by your actions), but just made an innocent mistake.