I don't want to be this person.

I don't want to cause my partner so much anxiety, and anguish, and pain. We've been together for two years, living together for over a year, and now I worry that all these posts are how he really feels and isn't telling me. It makes me feel worthless. I am a successful (read: working) actress, I pay my bills on time, I don't get fired -- ever, I like to think I'm pretty emotionally well-adjusted (openhearted, with a distinct slant towards compassion), and I don't think I have that hyper-focus thing (if anything, I feel like he is the one pulling away after two years), but... I make piles. On tables, particularly. I don't notice when the floor needs mopping. I do the dishes, because that's something easily quantifiable on the Clean/Dirty spectrum, but I just don't notice when things aren't clean. I know my partner gets upset about the state the apartment is in, but I just don't know what he's talking about. Honest to God. He gets really depressed about it, and while he used to talk about us getting married, he hasn't mentioned it in months... And of course, gauging from what some of y'all say on here, I guess maybe we shouldn't. I never thought ADHD would keep the person I love from committing to me fully, but I think that may be what's happening. I'm so sad, and frustrated. I have tried so hard, and gotten so much better since I started living with him. But it's just not enough.