I don't want your help!

Is there answers for adults with add/adhd on how to have quality of life, and marriage? Is there answers for any mind types (those who may be spouses to an opposite)  in quality of life? Yes, and Yes.....So what's the problem? LOL....The problems are very clear....1) A person (any person) must be able to SEE their own behaviors and act on them...(# 1 just eliminated a large part of human society) 2) Everyone feels good about themselves, at a level that causes blindness and justification of dysfunctional living.

So number 2 has many many side effects, that spawn off of our own self love.....One is, it is virtually impossible for a spouse (someone linked by love, lust or emotion) to counsel (give verbal helps, pointing out better quality of life producing habits) another spouse...They can't hear your verbal help attempts, they hear, YOU are broken and insufficient....It would be extremely rare for this to not be the case.....(IMO, and experience...

But sadly it's the number one reason for failure in relationships, because its the number one go to by hurting spouses...Why? Because their is only two adults effected of course....No one else feels the pain and intrusiveness (abuse) being subjected to one another in the relationship...(you may have a few adult on lookers at best)...Minor children are not responsible, and are always victims to the adults dysfunctional and abusive behaviors, no matter how much we try to justify it, or blame each other...

So for me, it boils down to a few things.....Recognize my own faults (sins, bad habits, etc..) things that I might be justifying, or worse, blaming my spouse or others for, and work on those things...It takes humility, (being able to see the flesh for what it is) and a desire for righteousness, (how to love and be thoughtful of others, even if I have to remove myself from their presents, due to not being able to find any other way to have peace) that is bigger than my own selfishness....Sound easy??

Also, I must recognize the assured failure (stress and conflict producing) that will always be the product of my efforts when I ignore ! and 2 above.....People do not want ME or YOU to help them (fix them, to be more acceptable by me, you and others)...So our opinions about their bad habits, lack of responsibility, that their daily living of life might be producing, is their choice (or we should respect it as such, because they alone will have to address it) ...And our opinions concerning change for them, will always be a negative to them....(Be meet w/ defensiveness)....Even when they know we are right about their life styles as it pertains to 2 being 1....

This is proved out in our daily interactions, but, suffering people, do not always make the wisest of choices....We grasp for what we do have...A voice....But sadly, it's not heard, and we keep repeating ourselves until, one day we realize the futility of our efforts....Then we change....Boundaries, Respect differences, Or go our own way...But change, abandon what has never worked....

c