I have been away from Thursday-Monday and you would think I just went to the corner store. My brother got married and I sent pics throughout the whole things since he couldn't attend. I sent him a nice picture of my sexy dress while in a fancy restroom at a country club and he responds "oh you took a pic in a bathroom" and never responded to pics of the wedding itself, my 81 yr old mom, nothing. He text me 3 times, mostly about himself. He called me once and talked about his weekend. I got home and he said he was surprised to see me home since he thought I was going straight to work. I did text him before my long trip home but he sucks at text messaging and never responded or initiated. I said that I needed to wash my hair before going to work for half day. He then said he was headed to work (he makes his own hours) and left 10 minutes after I got home. I was not excited to see him and I am sure I don't need to explain this to anyone on this forum. He wasn't excited either. It's like I never left. My feelings of not being excited come after 25 years of the same ADHD behavior knowing that after all these days away, I am only coming back to stress and more of the same. I hate that I don't want to come back home after visiting my family or any trip for that matter. Marriage should not be this way. What I want doesn't seem to matter anymore, this is it, this is what I/we get. In his mind he is loving me just fine. In my mind he falls short of loving me as I want/need after 25 years of my expressing myself. If he were cheating, this would all make sense. While I was away, my friends asked about me and it made him respond in a sarcastic way like he was tired of them asking for me. I would love to go to sleep and wake up in 1988, the year I met him. I don't hate him, I just don't feel fulfilled being married to him. I don't feel reassured or seen and I feel like I have changed. Before I would dote on him despite feeling this way. Now I don't want to fake anything anymore.