I get to be responsible for everything he says/does

I need his income information for our taxes and his father is his employer. He refuses to call his father/job and get the info and since we're traveling we can't access the form that was sent to our home. I asked him to call the job and get it faxed or emailed to us or just ask them the numbers. I am doing my taxes myself (joint), he has not done his for his country yet. I also did mine for his country (I'm a permanent resident there.) So I'm on my own with our US taxes and my other country taxes, but his father told his mother to email us and let us know that he's getting his accountant to take care of hubby's.

Here's the deal: hubby has not held down a job in his life that was not provided by his father except for a couple of movie extra jobs for a few days here or there. I have worked 2 jobs to support us on my own and then his dad gave him a job for a while but then reduced his salary so now he gets an "allowance." It's a huge long story but right now I'm dealing with this list of possible ADHD traits:

1. No sex, no affection, no touching. All contact is awkward.

2. He doesn't groom himself, shower, brush his teeth.

3. Everything is someone else's (mostly mine) fault. He can't be blamed for anything. Ever.

4. he loses things like his cell phone, birth certificate, well anything really.

5. He snaps at me all the time, does not understand when I infer things, answers things literally, repeats everything I say "to make sure he understands", does not bother to set reminders.

6. He does not read self help books as he says they're useless. He says he will see "an expert". He lets everyone else do for him.

7. Did I mention everything is my fault?

8. He blurts out personal information all the time. Like the time he told my in laws that I was on a new medication for anxiety that was not their business. Of course now it's my fault if he blurts stuff because he can't be expected to be able to handle a CONVERSATION with his family members at all. Meanwhile, his father and mother own half the house (with HIM, not me!) and have been controlling my life for 3 years. He also told me "I'm not on their side, I'm not on your side, I'm on MY side." It's been like that for years.


We have been married almost 7 years. We can't even have a conversation anymore. He is so ANGRY at everyone, everything, all the time. He snaps at our child, he doesn't want her playing or laughing or being loud, doesn't want her painting because it can "make a mess" even though he is a pig and leaves crap everywhere.

I have NO money left. In 2010 I had 2 jobs, thousands in the bank, was supporting all three of us without his dad's help and his dad told him he was gonna retire in 5 years and wanted us to move to Canada. So we did because well hubby saw dollar signs in his eyes because FIL said he was selling off his company for MILLIONS and would give hubby 4 million dollars. I have been MISERABLE. My anxiety went off the charts. His whole family are up our butts -- we never have any money, can't afford anything.

I'm so depressed.