I get so tired....

So tired of repeating myself. Same things I've asked him to do the entire marriage, he just can't manage to remember most of the time. I've resorted to putting a few notes up around the house, but I can't cover the house in notes. I would just like to go one, entire day without something forgotten or undone or half-as$ed. I have to STILL remind him to be quiet during our son's nap time. I have to remind him to give the bath at a decent hour AND to wash his entire body. Bathing has been his job since last July, but it still gets skipped and half-as$ed. The house smelled like cigarettes AGAIN. He's known for about 3 years now that he has to wear his hoodie when he smokes and leave the stinky hoodie outside. Still, he forgets to either put it on or leave it outside. I try to let so much go, but GEEZE!!!! When it involves the life of my son or the animals, I just can't. Although, I try to be as nice as possible when reminding him for the 10,000th time what to and what not to do. 

Common sense is seriously lacking over here, on a minute by minute basis. 

I have the same problem. If I

I have the same problem. If I do not remind my husband constantly (which he gets more irritated about every time) then it doesn't get done, and then by that time he's so annoyed he does it half a$$ed and I end up more frustrated.

Debidoo973's picture

I understand

I understand about having to repeat, repeat, repeat. And how exhausting that is. I am not married to him yet, and am seriously wondering if I ever should. We are both divorced with children, children who also have ADHD...doesn't sound like a very fun household, does it.

Makes  you wonder if they even care at all.

Sometimes I just want to let him wallow in his own shit and be done with it all. Of course, with a child, you can't just up and leave.

I have told mine of the importance of getting an ADHD life coach. Men don't usually like that option, lol, because it means admitting that they need help.

But otherwise, WE are the only ones they are accountable to, and I don't think any romantic relationship can survive one person parenting the other.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this MikesYobo.

I swear it never gets any

I swear it never gets any better. Before I left for work, I reminded him to feed the dogs. He got all snippy and says, "I DO!" Then comments directly after that last night he fed them late, so he only gave them dry food. Uggh!!!!!! I told him that THAT was failing at his job of feeding the dogs. They get fed between 7 & 8 pm and they ALWAYS get wet mixed with the dry. Why on Earth would he think that a late meal would constitute a crappy one? We have a dog door for a reason. I am so #%*& sick of this!! I came home from work, AFTER MIDNIGHT, and the dog bowls were in the same spot and bone dry. I guess I'll have to start feeding them before I go to work:/ Great, another job for me. I'm tempted to give my son morning baths or at least send a nightly text asking if the bath got done. 

I get up in the morning and stay constantly busy with my son and housework or bills, take a nap, continue work and cook dinner, then go to my actual job and work til 2am most nights, about 6-7 nights a week actually. 

He works about 5a to 5p, M-F, with frequent 4 day weekends, comes homes and his day is done. I can't wait til Feb so I can get the heck out of this nightmare. Remember when he said, "I'll go the extra mile for you."? I knew that was a load of bull. He's insanely lucky that I choose to stay here, with our son, helping with bills, cooking and cleaning, and managing everything. He can't even do a few things regularly correct or at all. And he seems to be using his new adhd diagnosis as an excuse. I regret marrying him so much. I've never been so stressed and angry in my life. 

I get really worried and

I get really worried and upset about how my husbands ADHD effects him. He never remembers anything and doesn't do most of the stuff I ask him to do. But we do talk about it and he doesn't like that he forgets everything. We try to work it out and we make plans and schedules and ideas for how to help him and us. Some of the ideas have worked, some have not. My husband is a wonderful caring man who unfortunately has ADHD which makes it harder for him to function in everyday life, the way he would like to function. It does get exhausting but I love him enough to keep working at it. I also have my own issues that we work around, just as most non-ADHD partners do, and we work through it and manage it.

Your husband is lucky to have

Your husband is lucky to have you. I wish you both the best. 

But me, I refuse to pick up his slack for the rest of my life. If I thought mine was really trying, it might be different. I think I'm sacrificing myself enough by staying here until he gets out of the military next year. Once he's out, he can follow me back home to be with his son, or not. I'll surely help out where I can, but I can't live under the same roof as his chaos. 

Nobody should ever have to

Nobody should ever have to carry someone else throughout their entire life. There has to be work, compromise, and commitment to the marriage and to change on both sides in order for any marriage to work, especially one with an ADD spouse. If one of the spouses in the relationship aren't willing to do those things then the marriage can't work and both people can't be happy. My husband and I have lots of ups and downs and we argue and get frustrated at each other, but we always come back and try to work things out and make things better. I hope you can figure things out, and that your spouse will be willing to work with you to make things better for the both of you, so that you can have a happy marriage.