I hate the instability and outbursts!

Today a close family friend got into a car accident, but it was too late to get him a rental car, so he asked if he could borrow one of ours.  We agreed to meet him for dinner at a restaurant and bring him a car.  Then it started pouring rain and H started getting anxious about the rain and driving. 


H and I each had to drive separately so that we could lend the friend one car.   H and I left our home at the same time, but I wasn't paying attention to how close or far he was behind me.   


While driving, the rain was still pouring, and a friend called me ( I have bluetooth, so handsfree.) .  I was on the phone with her for less than 30 seconds (phone record proves that).  I told her that it was raining and I couldn't talk now.  When I got off the phone, I thought that I had missed my turn.  Everything was dark from the rain and just looked different, so I got into the center turn lane to do a U-turn.   I tried calling H to tell him what was going on, but he didn't answer his phone (and my cell phone PROVES that I did try to call him.)


Right after I made my U-turn, I realized that I hadn't missed my turn, so I had to make another U-turn to get back to my original direction.  H calls me to ask what is going on, and I tell him.  He immediately gets nasty.  He asks me if I saw that he almost got into an accident.  I said, "No," because I hadn't.  He claimed that after I got into the turn lane to make the first U-turm he "had" to make a crazy lane change (HIS CHOICE!!!), and nearly hit someone (which would have been HIS fault for making an unsafe lane change, NOT MY FAULT!).   


Then, he tells me that I never should have answered my friend's phone call in this weather.  (lol...he didn't mind that I answered HIS phone call to me!!)   Then he sends me a nasty text that says:  "You led me to believe that you were in great distress (blah blah blah). ..."   He used those exact words in his text.   I didn't "lead him to believe" ANYTHING.   Making a U-Turn does not necessarily mean "great distress."   He jumped to that conclusion....which is understandable, but I didn't "lead him to believe" that.   And I tried to call him, but he didn't answer!   


Anyway, we get to the restaurant, and once inside, H will not stop berating me...I kept asking him to "drop it"   "don't make a scene," etc..  I get up to leave and he gets up and raises his voice and people start turning around and looking.  (the restaurant was noisy, so early on, no one heard him, but it was still inappropriate.  And once he stood up and got louder, then people DID notice and began staring.)   I finally went to the bathroom and waited for our friend to get there.   H is furious at me and keeps telling me that I need to apologize for what happened on the road!   lol   It hasn't even dawned on him that HE ALONE is responsible for his driving and any possible accidents....no matter WHAT I do or don't do.   


I'm not going to speak to him for the rest of the night.  I did nothing to deserve any of this.   I'm sure that tomorrow he'll claim that I raised my voice as well in the restaurant, but I assure you that I didn't.   I was raised well.....he wasn't.  Never would I raise my voice in a public place....ever.  


I am so sick of the fact that I can't just have a normal night without worrying that some small hiccup isn't going to upset him.


Today he found out that he has to have surgery at the end of this month, so maybe  that is why he's also grumpy, but he'll never admit that.  I'll be glad when he has the surgery because he'll be out of my hair for several days.   What a relief that will be.  I know that sounds sad, but it's true.  He's had this surgery before, and last time he was in the hospital about 5 days.....5 days of bliss at home....no fear of some silly flare up over nothing.