I have ADHD, my wife is controlling - coping?

My wife left me 2 years ago thinking I was abusive.  After a long battle I got a custody evaluation that came down hard on her saying how controlling she is and how great of a dad I am.  I know I have ADD and have a tendency to laziness, but the last 2 years I have made huge strides using some of the coping techniques described in some of these books.  Well, the evaluation coming back so strongly in my favor, everyone saying how much I've grown, and the kids begging to live with me every single day has made an impression.  Suddenly, she's talking about trying things again.  Thing is, I've never stopped loving her.  But everything I've read about ADD tells me how much a not-controlling wife makes a huge difference.  2 years without a controlling woman in my life and I was doing great.  

So, we're working on things.  She's agreed to do counseling.  What can i do?  I want my family together.  I have 3 kids that need me.  I loved her when she was nice.  But she expects me to be what I'm not.  And she's constantly going back and forth, saying she doesn't really love me anymore, but remembers we had good times and maybe she can learn again.  She might say she doesn't want to try it in a week, or she might stick to me for years.  I think patience and calm are huge for me, but what else?  Anyone have tips?  Anyone been through this?

Summary - controlling wife, 3 kids, 2 year separation - how do I take her back? What can I do?