I have been contemplating divorce for years!

My husband and I have been married for 13 years and together for 18. We knew each other for a few years prior to dating. We have a long history together and started out as just friends when we were just kids. He is a very laid back easy going teddy bear who loves a good time and is very social. He is very smart and can fix or build anything and everything. He has two brothers and all three of them have ADHD but one won't admit it, he does not believe in mental health, lol! So there is a strong family history of ADHD so needless to say our two boys, 9 & 7, have ADHD one combined form and one inattentive type and just like dad. I am the EXACT opposite of ADHD and I am very attentive, observant, everything has its place, I don't lose things, I am very organized etc... so living with a husband and two children with ADHD is a nightmare especially two boys with two different forms. The word "responsibility" to my husband is the scariest word he could ever hear. So you can only imagine what is has been like having children for him. Oh yeah, we also have a lot of animals, two dogs, a cat, chicken, ducks, and a cow. I work as a veterinary technician. Taking care of things was always in my nature I was always responsible, I got my first horse when I was 10. So as you can imaging I am responsible for every living creature in our household. So, my husband ........super smart but executive functioning does not exist for him! He forgets to pick up our children from school (even though it is a regular thing for him), constantly forgets to pay bills and we are getting threats about having our electric shut off, our home owners insurance discontinued etc..., I tell him I will take over the bills and he freaks out! He gets in a bunch of little (thank god) car accidents, he is super moody, he sleeps until 11am , has no ambition or motivation, sets a terrible example for the boys, does not help around the house leaves his cloths everywhere etc.../ He is on ADHD meds, antidepressants and sees a therapist. We have tried marriage counseling but he said it traumatized him! He acts like a little boy and I feel like he is my third son, my teenage son. I am in charge of my schedule, and both my kids schedule, do all the cooking, cleaning, homework, appointments, take care of the animals and I can not rely on him for anything he forgets everything I tell him. Even if he tries to put it in his schedule he forgets. His goal is to sit on the couch and watch t.v. or play video games with the boys. He has not grown or matured over the years at all he is still the 25 year old that I marries 13 years ago. The only reason he is able to hold down his job is because he works second shift and works by himself so he can be late to work, which he is by 30 minutes or more everyday! I have been talking to my therapist about divorce for a year now but it is such a big deal. I have two boys involved and we have such a long history together. However, he does not recognize how bad he is he does not think it is a big deal nor does he realize how much responsibility falls on me and I have just about had it with his immature bullshit! The love is gone, it is time to grow up and be a man.