I HAVE RECENTLY BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD, MY WIFE CLAIMS TO HAVE FALLEN OUT OF LOVE FOR ME. WHAT CAN I DO

I AM ON MEDICATION AND I HAVE TOLD MY WIFE THAT I WANT TO REVIVE THE RELATIONSHIP. SHE IS NOT WILLING TO DO SO AT THIS POINT, OR POSSIBLY EVER.

WE HAVE 2 CHILDREN (1 WITH ADHD). I AM SEEKING ANY KIND OF RESPONSES TO TRY TO REAGIN OUR HOUSEHOLD.

Show her

You will need to "show" her that you are interested, not just tell her.  No, I don't mean hyperfocus on her with all of the courting rituals.  But, show her with change in your actions.  Give her books and articles to read on ADD Marriages so that she can be informed too.  Ask her about her feelings, and truly LISTEN--even if it's hard and you don't want to hear what she has to say.  She will notice that you are actually listening now.

Give her her space. You are

Give her her space. You are talking as if you can 'make' her feel a certain way. If you push andoverwhelm her she is likel to flee further. And what were her reasons for going?

Out of of love wife!

I am in the same predicament and my wife says books and the such don't help the fact that I hurt her in the past. She has been unhappy for 3-4 yrs but never told me in a way I could read " the ADHD" way!  She is the silent type and says that we are very different which I say is good!  I am now back on meds and seeking therapy/management plan. How do I get her to fall back n love with me?

I feel the same way that your wife feels. Sorry....

I feel the same way that your wife feels. 

I have am not in love with my husband anymore either. 

The abuse that I have suffered from him has ripped at the fiber of our relationship.  I would never allow anyone to treat me the way that my husband has treated me . He has known for YEARS that there was something wrong with him but refused to do anything about it.  He has subjected me and everyone else around him to such crazy behavior that when our marriage ends, and I fear that it will even with our baby on the way right now,  this will be his second failed marriage. My biggest fear - I am pregnant right now and fear so badly that my son will be just like him. 

The most hurtful part is when he constantly tried to blame me for the things that are going wrong in our marriage. Trying to tell me that I am  crazy and that there was nothing wrong with him, even though the universe was screaming at him that he was the one with the problems.  When he just did not provide for me and let his fear of failure stop him for even trying new things, except those things that don't require any commitment and hard work.  Get rich quick, or live on someone's floor are the only two speeds that he knows.   When he keeps acting like my money is our money and makes decisions that have: almost got my car reposed, almost got us evicted from our home etc...

Every get rich quick scam that I had to hear about over and over and over that never did anything but drain us of the little money that he did bring into the home..

The constant arguing for the sake of just having something to say,

trying to turn our family and friends against me with his half-truths and adventurous behavior-

leaving me holding the bag and having to always be the responsible one that is deemed the Kill-joy of everyone's fun time.

No one wants to live like this. 

I don't know if this is what is has been for you and your wife, but these things are love killers.  It has been for me.

I will pray that things work out for you.  I just wanted you to know that your wife's feelings are not off base or even unique.  It is very very very hard to live with someone with your condition.  Especially when it is the husband with the condition and the wife that is forced to operate outside of her normal roll. We look to you to protect us, and lead us, and be the heads of the family. To be an example to the kids and to be the Man of the house.  When you can't do that, it is hard to feel love for you.

The mind games are debilitating--

 

and I know it is not your fault.

Good luck

Slow down. Have a plan. Work on self. You will most likely overwhelm her with affection. Stop! She seen that game when you dated her. Learn to have love for yourself. Because mostly likely you are clingy. The hyper focus love will have her withdraw even more. Start working on you. Have goals. It is going to suck. You just woke up to some the bs you put her through. It will take time. Find yourself. If you don't love yourself how can love another. You mostly freaking. You will live through it. Give her space. The things she telling about that piss her off, write down and work on. She not going help you with a plan. You come up with it and suck it up and don't brag or look for a metal. You in for a lot of pain my friend. Read these forum and try understand what the non add partners are going through. She will not make out a plan for you. Learn to do things for yourself. Read what piss off these other women here and don't do them. Take control of something anything. Good luck.