I have to vent!

My ex-husband and son are both ADD (no hyper component...inattentive). My son is in High School, and it it a requirement that seniors do a Graduation Project. They are supposed to start in Sophmore or Junior year and present the final project in spring of senior year. Well, you guessed it. It's spring of his Senior year, and he hasn't even started it yet, despite constant reminders, nagging, suggestions from me.

My son is starting to panic, but that just makes the ADD worse, and he can't even think. He really doesn't have time to do it now. I tried to get his father to talk to him, but his father is "oh don't worry, he'll think of something". AAArrrggghhhh. How can these people be so nonchalant about everything? My son won't graduate; he has a job lined up, but they won't want him if he can't get out of High School. I'm having all sorts of symptoms of stress...I'm the only one in the family that cares about anything. I'm so sick of taking on the worries of this entire irresponsible family!!!! Makes me want to go live in the woods by myself; I'd rather deal with bears than these ADDers!!

If you feel like you have the

If you feel like you have the energy then I feel like now is the time that you sit down and give all your focus to your son's project.
work out a quickt plan with study blocks and micro pauses. Snack breaks should be very often.
Then break out the work in small pieces, small subheadlines all that can be solved, written, completed within an hour tops. Everything should be easy to separate whether it be by color or location in the room, whatever.
If your son is the social kind of ADD then he'll get the most work done if you help doing some part for him, you'll both be doing the same thing and he'll get with the flow. He has ADD so see him as 80% so no matter how you do it, 20% will be missing in the end so you just gotta do that. Get it done in a speed that is satisfying to your son, as in, one area can be finished in 2 hours, that's close enough for him to feel a reward from it and to feel motivated. Snack, aaa lot of it. This is of course not a perfect do it like this solution, this is the way I do it when it's time to panic. Your son needs to graduate.

Pick a subject where information comes easy.


I never did my final project.. I hid from it like it was the pleague. I don't recommend that. You need to be the support and the one to do the project pretty much, too much time has gone buy and that's just how it is. 


For over 30 years, first with

For over 30 years, first with my ex, now with my son, THEIR problems are MY problems. And MY problems are MY problems (neither would ever consider helping me out with a problem). It really gets tiresome, and it isn't fair.

I suspect my son will be the type that, even if he moves out, will call in the middle of the night with problems that *I* need to solve, or will move back in every time he loses a job. They (the ex and son) do whatever they want, or more importantly, DON'T do what they don't like and expect me to pick up the slack for them (my ex told me once that he wouldn't do housework because he "didn't like it"...like I do??). When do I get time to relax and do what *I* want?

As tough as it would be, I

As tough as it would be, I wouldn't help him. As long as you let him make his problems yours, he will. I know the type...and it will never end until you stop it. The only thing making me want to say "help him" is that it is his high school career on the line. Tough call. Would really be curious what Melissa would suggest.


This afternoon I suggested a couple subjects to him and told him to look at the guidelines and get some idea what he wanted to do. I went back to check on him, and he was playing video games. This kid will be 18 in a couple of weeks! I've got to knock a little urgency into him. I'm afraid if he doesn't graduate High School, he'll be sitting in my house playing video games when he's 50! Come to think of it, that was his father when I kicked him out...50, unemployed, sitting in my house playing video games; I don't want to live through that again!