Hi - I just read the sample chapters. I do have a question about being "normal." I read that I as the non-add souse need to realize that there is nothing broken or not normal about their add spouse. It seems that I need to take the leap to truly understand that his way of doing life and perceiving the world is not of lesser value than my "normal" ways. I fully admit I have a hard time at this. I don't think it is normal to not keep a job or even look for one. I don't think it is normal to use bank overdrafts as a valid means of money. I don't think it is normal to have nocturnal sleeping patterns. Melissa, what is the point of treating add if there is nothing wrong with them? I am seeing a disconnect there. Maybe I need to reread the chapters. I would order the book, but my bank account is usually in overdraft. And I don't have the money to order one. It is not skipping a latte, i really don't have it, so please don't tell me to buy the book. I was just hoping for some clarification. Can I say that the behaviors are not conducive to a well functioning life? I don't know how I can talk to my husband about getting treatment if nothing is wrong. No one would voluntarily take medication for no problem. My husband is pretty against medication or non-medication treatment. He likes who he is for the most part - yes he deals with depression off and on - but overall he does not see anything wrong. That is healthy I suppose. Myself I admit don't think his lifestyle is normal. Please help me understand.