I think I am ADD? Are the self test on line accurate?

I am 48 year old female on the verge of losing my second marriage.  Recently a friend of mine suggested that I maybe ADD.  She suggested several sites on-line that self test.  I tried several different sites over a two week period and all three I scored HIGH "92" with the recommendation to seek help for ADD.

I made an appointment to see a psychristist and after a 15 minute consultation, and me disclosing that I had been tested for bi-polar at the age of 14. She diagnosed me with bi-polarII?  That diagnosis came without even reviewing the 15 page questioniar I had completed.  I was sent on my way with the dr. telling me that there is not alot known about the bipolar II but think about getting on the meds she perscribed and come back and see her in a month!  I tried sharing the information that I researched on-line she said... I will ask the questions and "we don't treat ADD with stimulants anymore unless there are significant problems"  Hello losing my marriage is not signicant???? Driving my patient husband even farther away with my stupid actions of interrupting, putting off important stuff, spouting out mean words then feeling bad?

I had not told my husband about my self diagnosis until a couple of days later. Just when he was on the verge of letting me spend the holidays ALONE,  I woke him at 2:00 am to talk and share some of my concerns.  He said that he had thought that for quite sometime.  In the morning I had him sit with me and answer the questions on the Bi-Polar self test and the ADD.. (not disclosing which test was which, with him answering the questions about me ... through his eyes. I again scored very high on ADD but not so on the Bi-Polar.

I have thought for years that I may have ADD but have never been diagnosed.  I am menapausal and for the last ten years been told it is my Hormones, or I am taking on too much?

I want to try some medication but don't know what or what dr. may perscribe me something other that anti-depressants, I have tried several. Wellbuterin twice, paxill, zoloft,prozac.  They never seem to make a difference?

I could go on for hours but if anyone is out there with suggestions I would really appreciate anything at this time.  I PROMISED my husband I would call and get and appointment with someone NOW.  He is patient but I cannot continue the abuse toward him. And I just feel so crazy and frustrated!