This weekend I went to a work function with my husband and blurted out a comment that was inappropriate in front of one of his coworkers. It was the final straw that broke his back and I am terrified he is really done with me now.
In desperation I googled "how to stop speaking without thinking" and saw all sorts of references to ADHD. What's ironic is that a few weeks ago, as a "joke" my husband said "hey I think you have ADHD" after seeing a commercial where they listed out the symptoms. I just laughed it off at the time but after my search pulled it up and I started reading about it so many things about our marriage struggles started to make sense. I immediately downloaded and read Melissa book and am going to try to get an appointment with an ADHD therapist this week if possible.
Here is my fear, and one that wasn't addressed in the book. My husband has "had it." He said to me repeatedly he wants me out if the house. He's implied he is going to a divorce attorney on Monday, and he isn't speaking to me at all, even though I keep trying. I am fearful that when I leave for work on Monday he's going to change the locks on me, he's that angry and disconnected. I feel as if I've had a breakthrough! If ADHD symptoms have been the root cause of so many of our problems then there is finally hope! Because all the years of me "trying harder" has just led to disappointment, hurt and anger. This could give me a path to "try smarter." But he will hear none of it. I told him I think that this REALLY is the issue and that I am going to go and get help, and he just says "well that will be great for your next boyfriend because I'm done."
i don't know if I should just try to ride out the anger and hope that if I get treatment and things start to turn around that he may be willing to participate? So much of what Melissa talks about in the book assumes both are involved in getting help. In his mind right now he's done and sees it as my problem, and one he doesn't want any part of.