I think I started a New Year's Eve catastrophe

IF I AM OUT OF LINE IN THIS POST, PLEASE LET ME KNOW, AND I WILL DELETE IT.  Here I am trying to live with boundaries, and not be mean, nor punishing, not hurtful, just making the best choices for Liz and her own sanity.  And enjoy my holidays.  

If you know my posts, you know I have come a very long way from my first post over 5 years ago,  Yet, why the Sam Hill am I sitting here feeling guilty - while knowing I am not guilty -  yet feeling really poorly by the events happening here.

My spouse does indeed read here.   

So, instead of sharing a bunch of details to substantiating my side, here's the facts:

December 29th I received an e-mail from my spouse: I desire to celebrate ringing in the new year with you. What do you think?

My response:   

I respectfully  respond to this request in restating I already have other plans.  My plans  are to go to my parent's house for New Year's Eve.  Very Truly, Liz

The trouble?  I want to go have the fun I planned on having. I am feeling guilty, and horrible, and mean because my spouse is in a great deal of emotional pain.  I was glad to have the chance to reply instead of responding.

So, please, have at it. . . .and help me see what I cannot. Now what?  I can only work from Liz's side, so tell me what you see.