Please shut up, pay attention and don't do anything.
You'd think that was the ADHD spouse but it's the ADDer himself wanting attention. We had a huge fight over ... umm what does it matter, I wanted this and he wanted that.. and he pushed, boxed in, bullied until I blew up. He says he has a few of the symptoms but no big deal.
But the corker is this.... this morning in his best most soothing unctuous voice ..
I get the.... "You've changed and I think you need some help speech. I care about you. We need to call a psychologist or doctor for you to help you deal with Your anger.
Mr. Can't see his own behavior, is all calm and supportive, like an actor in a play. And seeing me wave my arms at him and phony baloney egoic persona doing a strategic move for self-preservation. Ooo- lala What a performance.
Now, I do blow up, and I am getting more tired, more exasperated faster, less understanding, less patient, more in your face and up your nose confrontational but it's been 37 years.