I think YOU have an anger problem

Please shut up, pay attention and don't do anything.

You'd think that was the ADHD spouse but it's the ADDer himself wanting attention. We had a huge fight over ... umm what does it matter, I wanted this and he wanted that.. and he pushed, boxed in, bullied until I blew up. He says he has a few of the symptoms but no big deal. 

But the corker is this.... this morning in his best most soothing unctuous voice ..

 I get the.... "You've changed and I think you need some help speech. I care about you. We need to call a psychologist or doctor for you to help you deal with Your anger.

Mr. Can't see his own behavior, is all calm and supportive, like an actor in a play. And seeing me wave my arms at him and phony baloney egoic persona doing a strategic move for self-preservation.   Ooo- lala What a performance. 

Now, I do blow up, and I am getting more tired, more exasperated faster, less understanding, less patient, more in your face and up your nose confrontational but it's been 37 years.