I'm quite new to trying to find answers and help...I. The ADHD spouse, and my wife is a sufferer of Bipolar I. She sees things so clearly, and has no hesitation or indecision
I, however, suffer incessantly from self doubt, paralysis during crisis, and an inability to prioritize. The difference in our personalities is stark, and infuriating, to her.
I am over 40, and have read a lot, learned a lot, and have ideas how to address our problems and rebuild our relationship. But we've been married 17years, have two wonderful children, and she has been seeking therapy for years. I am seen as complacent, drifting, inconsistent, and not taking our problems seriously. And I don't deny it. I try, I want to change. I make efforts every day, but I haven't made enough measureable progress and it's been way too long. My wife informed me today that trying to a ave us is no longer an option, and I need to focus on not screwing up the kids.
I didn't learn enough soon enough. My advice is never ignore a diagnosis, and learn TOGETHER as much as you can as early as you can. Make a plan, seek help, don't ever let it slide.