Usually when something needs to be done around the house my husband is either putting it off, too tired, forgotten to do it, didn't have time,.....so I have established this poor habit of doing everything that needs to be done myself. Quicker and more efficient. Lately I didn't even bother to ask him for help any more..maybe because I was secretly hoping that by taking on so much he would realize how unfair it was and how much weight he put on my shoulders. That of course didn't happen. It had gotten to the point where he would even call on me for technical chores...setting up the xbox, see why the tv wasn't working,...... Lazy? That too but he really can't figure some stuff out. Luckily i'm quite the "handy" type.
Long story short....after reading some of the previous posts I realized that by taking everything out of his hands, i wasn't stimulating him and by doing everything for him I wasn't helping him feel like the "man of the house". I figured he would benefit more from taking on a project and finishing it. So I decided to "give" him a simple chore. I bought a side table two days ago. Instead of taking it upstaires myself and setting it up I waited for him to come home to get it out of the car (it was quite heavy) and set it up upstaires. He said "now? i will get it later" I was calm and said "oh baby would you mind getting it now, i would like to see if it fits". He didn't like it but accepted anyway. Got it out of the car, upstaires, opened the box, took out all of the pieces (3) and looked at everything that was in front of him on the floor. He seemed puzzled. He looked at the instructions, the examined the pieces, ....that went on for what seemed to be forever ( i was sitting on the floor beside him, knowing how to do it but keeping my mouth shut just to give him a chance to figure it out himself). He got nervous, stood up and said "i think there are some pieces missing here, you need to take it back to the store". I looked up and just felt really sad for him. He just wasn't able to figure it out eventhough the instructions were crystal clear even from where i was sitting.
Of course I did it myself as soon as he left the room, 5 min later I had my side table. The next day i'm sure he saw it but never said a word.