I woke up last night...

...and in the darkness I saw that the bedroom door was open.  It struck me as odd, because I always keep it closed at night.  Just then, my wife leaned over me and gave me a little kiss.  She quietly went around to the other side of the bed, climbed in under the covers and fell asleep curled up next to me.

Then I woke up.  It was just a dream.  The door was closed.  I was alone in bed.

What a perfectly lonely feeling.



Aw, Pb....sorry.

It's gotta get better.  One way or another.

hang in there.

Pbartender's picture

Yeah...  It just hit me

Yeah...  It just hit me hard...  I tend to have very vivid, very intense, very realistic dreams.  Waking up from it in the middle of the night after my meds had worn off was something of a shock.

So, after so many things have been trending toward better lately, I'm feeling a little bit low and lonely about it today.  I'll be better later.



Did you tell her?

...might open up conversation?

I totally understand though not wanting too.  but, from the outside, I'm waving pom-poms in the air saying GO!....  (cuz it's so much easier to do that when It's not me!)

Pbartender's picture

Tell her?

No...  not yet...  I'm still gingerly testing the waters of civil conversation with her.  I'm not certain she's ready to hear something like this, and I'm not yet sure I trust her to not react badly to it.  Besides, there's other conversations we'll need to have before either of us is ready to share something like this.

But...  Thanks for the cheers.



Yeah, I get that.

I, too have very intense vivid dreams (since childhood) and some of them can freak me out for days.

I had a dream a while ago that I was having an affair with a fantastic man who was so nice to me and I was so happy with him, but I was wracked with guilt that I was cheating.  Then I woke up and realized that the man in the dream WAS my husband, I just didn't recognize him because he was behaving so radically different.


I never told DH about it...  Figured he'd be insulted/annoyed.

Linsy's picture

Vivid dreams

My husband trampled all over my boundaries for so many years, that now I have an excruciating stress reaction before I can control it, almost whenever he gets in touch (we live apart). I have regular dreams about my frustration at his complete inability to be what I wanted him to be, to be responsible, to listen to reason, to behave in a way that remotely aligns with his role as husband and father. ie to take some of the weight of responsibility from my shoulders completely. He does not, will not, cannot do this and yet insists I do things for the children which just add to my burdens. Last night I dreamt I slapped him. O dear. Woke feeling terrible.

is he diagnosed? Medicated?

& I really hope you don't slap him for real...  (It won't help anyway!)

Hope something gets better for you soon...

Linsy's picture


I did slap him in the past, when what he said and did became unbearable. 


What's with the dreams?  I had dreams like that (vivid, realistic or surrealistic, sometimes crazy dreams) when I was pregnant both times.  What medications do you take?

I'm sorry you are sad.  I hear you...

Linsy's picture

no meds

Just suffering the long sad after effects of trying to make something work which couldn't. The realisation that it was all a false endeavour is heart breaking. He won't even begin to comply with the psychiatrist's strongly worded advice. Because then I would be 'right' and I will 'win'. All nonsense. This is not a competition. Very sad and lonely tonight, can't sleep.