I would give anything just to be normal.

I just found this site and I have read several post from the spouses of men with ADD. My wife is also one of the very frustrated and I am afraid ready to give up. For those of you that do not have or understand what an ADD person goes through on a daily basis, I envy you. You are the normal ones, you keep your focus, you finish what you start, and most of all you don't hurt the people you love the most. I, on the other hand, do get distracted, cannot finish anything I start to save my life. My garage is full of unfinished projects, beside my bed you can find a pile of clothes, books that I bought to help me but can't read fast enough or long enough to finish the first chapter. I am very creative and artistic but it does not seem to matter since I can't finish anything. I have had to place a notebook beside my bed at times because I will wake up with a new idea and can't go back to sleep until I write it down or draw it out. My ADD has cost me several good jobs, and over 35 jobs since I have been working, I am 42. I lost my best job a year ago and have been struggling ever since. I am at an all time low, I guess I would say rock bottom. I fear that my addiction to porn, and sexual fantasies has ended my 18 year  marriage. I hope not but I wouldn't blame her for leaving. She has put up with a lot over the years and I don't know if she has any hope left. I am very lacking on hope myself. I have tried things in the past, depression meds, ADD meds, and due to a back surgery discovered the instant euphoria of pain meds.  I have since kicked that habit of 10 years but at this point would love to have a handful. Nothing has helped, and now that I do not have a job our insurance is terrible and I can not afford to go to a doctor for help. So, what's in store for me? I can easily see my wife leaving me and taking my daughter and soon to be born baby boy, I will move in with a friend for a while until that get's old and then what? Homeless? ADD has taken everything from me.I used to always say, I could never understand how some one could commit suicide, I think I am beginning to understand. I would give anything to be normal and not know ADD.......I would give anything to be like you, if only for a day.