Ignoring ADHD? HELP!


I've been married 9 years and only last week, after reading an article about ADHD marriages, could see that my husband is most likely having ADD. We have had a difficult marriage, and I had twice reached the point where I was going to leave, with our little daughter in tow.

I checked and re-checked the signs and I am pretty sure he has it, not a severe version but a mild-to-moderate level, from what I can tell. I hesitated to tell him about it, thinking he would reject the idea and become defensive as usual. But I broke it to him gently and he listened reasonably and with interest (didn't ask or say anything though). I was relieved he had taken it that well, but now there's no progress - he refuses to read about it, forget about thinking of consulting a professional.

How can he be so apathetic about it? I can't understand. From the time I discovered the possibility of his problem, I felt a confusing set of feelings - on the one hand I was relieved because all the trouble I was having and talking about were real and had a reason, in Him (I am a self blamer and I thought it might be and went in for some counselling sessions) and I found it slightly easier not to expect certain things from him or feel disappointed if he didn't think/do some things. On the other, I am bewildered, afraid and feel very alone. I have felt alone most of the time, but now despite telling him if he doesn't move a step, is it again up to me? What should I do?

When I ask him, share with him that I am afraid I'm alone, I wish he would read about it, and let's plan what to do to improve things between us, he says he has enough on his mind already without adding this - and leaves it at that.

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. What if he refuses to consult a professional? Please, any advice, help, suggestions would be much appreciated!