What happen's when we find ourselves in relationships that aren't pleasing to us? I found something a few years ago that brought light to my pain. It was something that turned my focus inward, and upward...It was something that saved me from Blame, Anger and Frustration (except the  days and nights I fall prey to my own carnal thinking, and find myself backsliding into being a victim again)....Because it told me "WHY" I was suffering...And; as hard as it was (and is) for me to admit my brokenness in this area...I eventually realized this was the foolish road I was own...

My circumstances weren't producing my inner struggles; it was my thinking (my Illusions, my dreams, my self destruction) about the circumstances that was destroying my ability to experience true peace and life....I ran across a summary of this material and it describes me plight to a tee...So I am going to share it here, just in case it can be a beneficial resource for some of you who may can identify w/ it also...



Every created entity comes into being when the Spirit of life quickens (enlivens) it into existence. Living life, however, is not a one time fix. God does not bestow life upon man and then walk away to see what man will do with his new found existence.


Since only God is life (John 5:26), creation has to experience God continually to continue to experience life. Remove the Spirit of life from the body that is experiencing life and the body soon decays into the nothingness of its original dust. Since the Son of God is “the true Light, which lights every man that comes into the world” (John 1:9), every man experiences life because he is lighted continually or experiences God continually (Col. 1:26).

The problem is not that man does not experience God, for to live is to experience God. The problem is man does not know, or worse, refuses to honor God for his life. The ignorant man living in foolish illusions state that God is not the measure and the life of all things. The foolish man proclaims that he, himself, is.Although all men continually experience and live their life according to the outworking of the will of God, man often finds himself in opposition to that will in the world of his imagination. The will of God is still being done, for no man can change the sovereignty of God (Rom. 9:19,20), but in the mind of man, the make believe world of his fantasies, he believes he controls his own life. God still produces the life from heaven, but because man is in his mind he experiences the hells of his own created world–his imaginations.

Man begins his journey to this chamber of death and hell with the illusion that he can (by the power of his choice) decide what is good and what is evil. He believes he can control the times and the seasons of life. The first illusion of man is always the belief that he can make life happen himself.

The consequences of this illusion produce the reality that although he is in control of his life there is something missing. No matter what he chooses to do, for some reason the sense of fulfillment or completeness does not occur. He begins to live by playing roles, hiding the real self of what he has become, and readily blaming others for his misery.

The consequences of this first illusion should be sufficient to cause him to cry out to God for his salvation. The pain and the agony of no meaningful, lasting relationships should bring him back to God. But, it does not. For there is something within man that refuses to give up the control he perceives he has.He knows something is wrong, but to fix the fault of the first illusion, he creates a second illusion. He begins to believe that he can take the things of God (although he gives no credit to God for them) and by his choices and efforts make the good life occur. He believes that he can mix the grace of God (which produces all things in the world) and the laws of man (the attempt to do as he thinks he should) and produce or force the issues that should exist between people.

He craves meaningful relationships, as he understands them, and he attempts to make them happen. He will now live in the illusion that he can force relationships to occur. He will either create a false world of illusions about himself, to make himself something he is not. Or, selfishly scheme interactions with others to get what he thinks he needs. The end result is the same: corrupted, dysfunctional relationships.

The consequences of this second illusion should be sufficient to cause him to cry out to God for his salvation. The hells of his life should bring him back to God. But, it does not. For there is something within man that refuses to give up the control that he perceives he has.He knows something is wrong, but to the fix the fault of the second illusion he creates a third illusion. Unable to experience the ultimate life of meaningful relationships, and finding himself in the misery of everyday life, he turns to the world of make believe. The imaginations, the dreams, and the fantasies he creates in his own mind become the means by which he attempts to experience life. So much so that he now finds himself controlled by a world that his own mind has created. Trying desperately to experience life in those dreams, he becomes in bondage to those same dreams.

Living in this world of being controlled by the endless, hopeless fulfilling of man’s own fantasies will eventually bring him to such corruption and violence that God has to step in to destroy that world. God will eventually, after much long-suffering, bring everyone to the end of themselves. Once the individual is being destroyed by the world he thought he could control, his cry finally rises to God in agony, “Lord, save me, I am perishing.”We all need to be saved from our own thinking.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:3-5).

The simple hearing of Jesus (literal meaning of obedience) as opposed to hearing the words of our own imaginations is the only salvation of our souls. Hearing Jesus is the path to the contented life of the Spirit of life that dwells within us.

author Dr. James Stone