I'm always wrong.

Do you ever just get tired of being blamed for everything?  I bend over backwards for my husband and sons on a daily basis.  Yet, any conflict or potential conflict is dumped in my lap.  I'm controlling.  I'm hard to please.  I'm disrespectful.  I'm ....fill in the negative blank.  

How 'bout I'm rational.  I want to hold these people I live with accountable.  I won't just shut up and take it anymore.  I'm tired of cleaning up everyone's messes.  I'm tired of accepting the blame for all our problems.  I am NOT ADD.  I am also not perfect. I have my issues.  I try very hard to be understanding and accommodating to my husband and 17 yr old  son's ADD.   But I refuse to take all the blame for the dysfunction in this household.  I grew up with very loving parents.  It kills me what my spouse and I are doing to our boys.  His parents were extremely dysfunctional.  And as much as I absolutely hate it, we are just repeating the cycle.  He is either unwilling or unable to admit his culpability in the issues we have.   We have just started counseling again.  But he is very hard hearted at this point and pretty much blind to his part of our problems.  

So tired of the battle.