I'm a Confused, Frustrated & Fed-Up Non-ADHD Husband

So I've been reading a lot of these posts, many of which are Non-ADHD women with ADHD husbands.  I am a Non-ADHD husband and am at my whit's end.  I really don't even know where to begin or what to say here, other than the fact that I am confused, frustrated, tired, and just plain fed-up.  My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and I work from a home office.  Overall, I am frustrated with my wife's significant lack of homemaking skills which include general cleaning & organizing, decorating, planning, etc.   The appearance and cleanliness of our home does not seem to matter to her in any way whatsoever.  Yes, there is that one spare bedroom room in our home with boxes stacked on boxes of her belongings that she's promised time and time again to go through to get rid of things, which as of this very day of me writing this post, more bags have been dumped in.  Yes, her closet is a mess and you can barely open the door.  have very poor communication, with seemingly no progress whatsoever.  I am extremely scared for our future and need to better understand her ADHD.  We've been together almost 7 years and married for 2 1/2 years and have a wonderful 19 month old daughter.....Aaaaaand, my wife is about