I'm new here. Could use some help.

Ok, I read that one shouldn't vent so I'll try not to!  But just have to get some things straight to make sure I'm not crazy! I have confirmed in my mind that my husband has ADD, which I suspected, & not sure if I do too or if I'm just a mess from dealing with this situation.   I don't hardly know where to start....there's just so much.  I think I am losing my mind most of the time trying to deal with his 18 yr old son who also has learning disabilities (reads at a first grade level) and probably ADHD and autism also.  The things I have to do to accomodate the weirdness and chaos in this household is unbelievable.  I try to have a good sense of humor and laugh it off, but the crazy things get to me sometimes and I need someone to talk to instead of venting to my (grown) daughter and my sister.  We get a good laugh from a lot of it, but I am getting worn down to a frazzle...physically and emotionally exhausted.  I feel like i have been sleep deprived since I married my husband 3 yrs ago.  Don't get me wrong,  I love him tremendously.   He is a wonderful man,  caring (most of the time when he's not distracted) and we are still very much in love.  But some of the little things I have to do like:  I have to hide the bath towels in my bedroom closet because his son will take them into his room upstairs (into the blackhole I call it) and they never come out!  Same with dishes.  I have to buy new plates, silverware, towels etc more often than i should because he will not bring them downstairs and I have refused to go into his room.  It is so filthy the other day, the cable guy was here to fix our tv and i couldnt let him go upstairs because i was afraid he would call child services and we would be charged with neglect!  I am not a clean freak, but I do keep the downstairs clean, although I am exhausted from picking up after them.  Yes, I have nagged, cajoled, talked nicely and every which way possible to try to get my husband to make him keep his room clean, but to no avail.  His son is very hard on electronics.  My husband has replaced his computer 4 times in the last year, not to mention playstations, etc.  Anyway....I'm rambling, I apologize.... It's not just the household mess...my husband's driving is a cause of horrible anxiety to me.  Tailgateing, driving off the road constantly...etc.... I have given up trying to convince him that it is NOT me and just absorb all the stress inside.  There is just so much weirdness!!!!!  This of course, is just the tip of the iceberg.  Sorry,  I meant to write a concise, poignant account and get some feedback, but I seem to just be venting.  I will continue to do some research and work on my sanity.  Thanks.