I thought I was working on my marriage. I am starting to think I am totally co-dependent - or a total idiot. Or a co-dependent idiot.
I am just sitting on my pity-pot for a bit.
I've been in this marriage for 29 years.
I really want it to work.
I stopped the Mother/Child relationship.
I focused on me - being happy, going to school, enjoying my friends, scrapbooking, visiting my family.
I quit mentioning anything - his chore that doesn't get done. His lateness. His junk.
I worked to be my happy joyful self - with the far dreaming plan that he would want to focus on getting his negative ADHD behaviors under control so our relationship could be resurrected.
Then I found porn on the computer.
And almost reamed out my son. Glad I didn't. It was my spouse.
I am totally, and utterly confounded. I thought he would turn to me - rather than choose a clearly destructive route. This is something I never, ever would have thought would happen. Never. Not in my wildest imagining.
Now I see him choosing to be in his sadness. In a victim mode. Woe is him. Behavior he was driven to - . . . .
I just have no words. None. Other than I want to get in the car and start driving far, far away. Arggghhhh........