I'm the Non-ADHD spouse

I thought I was working on my marriage.  I am starting to think I am totally co-dependent - or a total idiot.  Or a co-dependent idiot.  

I am just sitting on my pity-pot for a bit.

I've been in this marriage for 29 years.

I really want it to work.

I stopped the Mother/Child relationship.

I focused on me - being happy, going to school, enjoying my friends, scrapbooking, visiting my family.  

I quit mentioning anything - his chore that doesn't get done.  His lateness.  His junk.  

I worked to be my happy joyful self - with the far dreaming plan that he would want to focus on getting his negative ADHD behaviors under control so our relationship could be resurrected.

Then I found porn on the computer.  

And almost reamed out my son.  Glad I didn't.  It was my spouse.  

I am totally, and utterly confounded. I thought he would turn to me - rather than choose a clearly destructive route.  This is something I never, ever would have thought would happen.  Never.  Not in my wildest imagining.

Now I see him choosing to be in his sadness.  In a victim mode.  Woe is him.  Behavior he was driven to - . . . .

I just have no words.  None.  Other than I want to get in the car and start driving far, far away.  Arggghhhh........