I'm not sure I'm doing this boundaries thing right.

I am trying so hard to set boundaries and it's not working and he is just being resentful. About 3 years ago I quit doing everything for him. He was offered a promotion but had to move across the country for it. And that's pretty much all he told me. I knew from past experiences that the next steps were for me to ask him questions about the details, make a plan, assign tasks, stay on him to complete the tasks, then scramble to fix whatever crisis arose because he didn't do what he was supposed to do. So I refused. I told him to come up with what he was going to do and I would let him know. He became angry with me for not helping him. About two weeks before he was supposed to move he found another job, working from home. I became a stay-at-home mom and he was nasty and bitter. He wouldn't do anything around the house and wouldn't let me take breaks. It was so bad that I was going to leave. My husband lost his job in March. I immediately went into savior mode and started looking for a job. Suddenly he was nice again. By April I realized that he was never going to look for a job as long as I had one. I stopped looking for a job, but two part-time jobs that I had wanted came through and I had to take them, right? Was I going to let my kids starve? What I didn't do was look for a job for him, which is what I usually do when he loses a job. He finally started looking in August, his unemployment ran out in October, and here we are in December with $600 in the bank to last until he gets a job. And I can't get him to see the seriousness of this. He is waiting for me to bail him out. He says he isn't, but keeps repeating "this is almost over," and "things always work out." But they aren't working out and he is doing nothing to fix it. I told him that if I have to get a full-time job to bail us out, then he has to move out. That just made him mad that I was threatening him. We have been together for 20 years and for 17 of those, I was rhe primary breadwinner, sometimes working two jobs while he didn't work at all. But making him look for a new job on his own isn't really working out. He's not doing enough to actually get a job.