My husband and I have been married for 5 yrs. Although for the last 3 we have separated 3 times. We have currently been separated for a yr. My DH was diagnosed last Sept. with ADHD and started taking Ritalin, although he stopped both the counseling and the Ritalin in late November.
I have always wondered if his diagnosis was correct. Since I have been with my DH he has the typical struggle with following through on projects, he has never once finished a home project completely. (We are remodeling our home) He has had 4 jobs since I met him, each time he leaves for something “better”. The last was to buy out the business of his last employer when the employer died. He has had it for a yr. now and every week he feels he will lose it.
The difference is, he does not have a temper, and in fact he will avoid confrontation at all costs. He is also very neat at home. He can’t tolerate a messy house and helps with most of the chores.
He goes through very pronounced cycles every 6 months. Each Dec. and June he decides he doesn’t love me and never has and he leaves, each time getting divorce papers that in the end he won‘t sign. In a month or so he will come back and tell me he loves me and wants to work it out. I can actually see the process begin in the weeks prior to him leaving, he shuts down, stops calling, takes me off any of his social networks and then he just stops communicating completely. We have 4 children (2 each from separate marriages) and they are so confused and hurt by the abandonment.
In the last 6 months his moods have begun to cycle, first every month to the present state which is every week. One week he will break down and cry that he loves me like no other, that I am the only person who understands him and supports him in his business to the next week completely ignoring me, or as it stands now, calling me and telling me he hates me, I am pathetic and disgusting and the only reason I stay with him is because I am desperate, not because I love him.
That is where we are at present and my friends, family and therapist tell me I have to sever all contact with him and get on with my life. I understand that intellectually but I still love him very much and I know that in his heart he loves me. He is just so confused and alone and I am not sure what to do.
Thank you all for listening to me. I have been reading your posts for a few months now and it is the only thing that helps me get through my days.