Non-adhd partner here. Lately, everything seems to be "my fault." My mood swings, my irritability, my inability to trust that he'll get things done that he'll say he'll do. We are now stuck in this endless blame game. Yes, I know I'm exhausted. I work full-time and am working hard to get promoted. I also am taking 3 classes on the side. I'm applying to PhD programs. My mom has stage 4 lung cancer. My dad has health issues too, and they're both dying. I am in therapy 3xs a week. What more do I need to be doing, in all seriousness? My time alone should be spent eating well, sleeping, and just decompressing in a hot tub.
Meanwhile. You don't work. Are not taking any classes. And are not getting any sort of training or certification in anything. Are not applying to graduate school. Your parents are not dying. You're a bonafied NEET ("Not in Education, Employment or Training"). So yeah, I'm annoyed. This cannot last for more than a year or I'm just done. Truly. A 40 year old man needs a life that is better than this. And if incapable, you should be fighting for the best possible mental healthcare you can obtain. Even if it's hospitalization, just to get your medication treatment sorted.
Feels like I am dying of burn-out and grief at this point.