Im seeking help with ADHD.

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD, but ever since I was little people have always suspected it. I was the kid that couldn't sit still always talking in class, would not try unless it was something extremely challenging(and did extremely well especially in math science and history), played sports and had a natural gift but never really fully applied myself because I was always frustrated with coaches making decisions I didn't agree with, officials for things I didn't agree with and myself because I know I was better than what I was doing. I screwed up enough in school to where I had to bust my but and force myself to do the work so I could graduate. I knew I wasn't going to be able to go to college because I hated school. So I enlisted in the Marines. well I never made it there due to a traumatic injury. So it was on to something else. I had a child and became a single parent. Became an EMT but struggled, went through firefirghter school, went through paramedic school. I always did amazing at the hands on portions of the test and was able to show seasoned veteran paramedics an easier way to do things, but unfortunately havent been able to pass my paramedic test, or another test. I have been gotten remarried and butted heads with my wife several times because of my temper and her having to walk on eggshells. I've always had a bit of  a short fuse. She finally said she cant take it anymore unless I get my anger under control. So I proceeded to find a anger management therapist, who sent me to a psychologist, who had me tested for ADHD. Now we are trying to get the Meds right and I started out on 18mg of concerta, then came 36mg, followed by 54 mg, followed by 72mg. I still don't have any focus on the task that I need to do but have plenty of task on project around the house. My fuse has been lengthened but goes back to nothing in the later hours of the night. I feel like I'm overwhelmed and cant get out from under the problems. I want to be able to deal with my anger in a non explosive way. Ive tried everything to control it with no success other than the halflife of the medication. I would like to find a way to be able to pass my test I have to further my career to support my family and most important I would like to be a better husband and father to my wife, daughter and unborn daughter(due in feb). I have noticed that with concerta I fall asleep easier, sleep harder and wake up groggy and aggravated and its harder to stay awake or it take longer for me to completely wake up. Can anyone give me any advice, coach me, or point me in the right direction. 

Pbartender's picture

Let me repost...

"Now we are trying to get the Meds right and I started out on 18mg of concerta, then came 36mg, followed by 54 mg, followed by 72mg. I still don't have any focus on the task that I need to do but have plenty of task on project around the house. My fuse has been lengthened but goes back to nothing in the later hours of the night. I feel like I'm overwhelmed and cant get out from under the problems. I want to be able to deal with my anger in a non explosive way. Ive tried everything to control it with no success other than the halflife of the medication...   ...I have noticed that with concerta I fall asleep easier, sleep harder and wake up groggy and aggravated and its harder to stay awake or it take longer for me to completely wake up. Can anyone give me any advice, coach me, or point me in the right direction."

Let me repost something I wrote in another thread...

The meds may take some time (months!) to get right...  There's different types that work different ways for different people, and its takes some trial and error to get just the right med and dosage.  Honesty with the doc about how well they work and exactly what effect they are having is most important!  Ideally, the meds should help with concentration, attention, memory, moods and such, but they don't fix everything by themselves.

Having a good ADHD coach/therapist is important, and you'll have to put in a lot of hard work to unlearn some old habits and relearn some new ones.  Again, it'll likely quite some take time before you see consistent change, and there'll almost certainly be false starts and setbacks.  Don't get discouraged...  either of you.

Think about it in the same terms of an amputee...  Instead of missing a leg, for example, you're missing his short-term memory, a consistent sense of time and the ability to regulate your attention.  The meds are like the mental equivalent of a prosthetic leg.  And the ADHD coaching can be likened to the physical therapy needed to relearn how to walk and run with the prosthetic.

But...  While it will makes things a lot easier on him if you have someone to back you up and "cheerlead" you on some, you are ultimately the one who has to do the work and you have to WANT! to do it.  Otherwise, you'll never get anywhere with it, and it'll never stick for long.

That said...  Have you tried anything other than Concerta, yet?  Be honest with your doc about how it affects you, both good and bad.  I got up to 54 mg Concerta, and while it helped some with concentration and motivation, it was also giving me the jitters, magnified me moods (both good and bad) and caused me to "crash" right about dinner...  just when I needed it most to spend the evening with the family.

I switched to Vyvanse and it made a big difference.  No jitters, no crash, it helps with attention and focus and moods, and I can hardly tell that it's there...  I still feel like "me".

Now, back before I was diagnosed, it took a lot of effort but there was a time I had excellent control over my anger.  Over the years I lost much of it due to too much stress and no means to get rid of it.  What's really helped me in the last few months is rereading the stoic philosophers, especially Epictetus.  I'd recommend looking him up, and giving him a try.

 

Pb.

thanks.

I havent tried anything else.