Impact of Impulsivity

New to this forum. Married for 25 years and am now reaching the end of my tether. Over the years alcohol, over the counter meds, caffeine, nicotine, prostitutes, online porn, sexting sites, snorting adhd get the picture. Can't forget lost jobs, suicidal threats etc. This all from a well meaning, generous and warm hearted man. I am tired. Tired of the tears over the years. Tired of waiting for the sky to fall around our family. Tired of being the "responsible" adult in this relationship. Ironically I am now in counselling  myself to see if there is any part of me that wants to live the rest of what years I have left with this man.  I don't want to be the bad guy and it seems like a cop out to just blame his ADHD because that doesn't change the self destructive patterns he has well established and blamed on his boredom, lack of sex in our relationship, that he's an "all or nothing guy".  I am interested in hearing from those dealing with these types of issues, how you overcame or if you just cut your losses and left. We have two older sons (also diagnosed) so this is NOT just about me.