The Importance of Listening

I write this to anyone that may be starting out in their marriage. I am 40 yrs old and have been married for almost 22 yrs. If it wasn't for our 16 yr old daughter, I am sure my wife would be gone by now. I have known that I was ADD since we were married, but only really acknowledged it about 10 yrs ago after seeing the challenges my oldest daughter was facing. I started taking medication and it makes a world of difference with the anger and frustration. However, I have taken a toll on my wife. I moved us around 14 times in the first 11 yrs of marriage. I started a career that kept me away from home 3-4 nights/wk for the past 12 yrs. But most importantly, i had a vasectomy when I was 24 because we had 2 children and I knew that we could give them things I never had. All of these decisions I made with good intentions. When I made them, I was not aware of my wife's disagreement. But if I had really listened, thought about what she needed, then she would be a lot happier with me today. So, if you are ADD, STOP! Listen to what you spouse is telling you, before you act. If you are the Non-ADD spouse, you may have to hit the other over the head with your wants and needs. Otherwise, you could end up resenting the person you love in the future.