The inability to Bond...Limited Openness.

Are you in a marriage relationship that you and your spouse's differences have made it impossible to achieve the healthy bond you should have? After 9 years I've found it almost impossible to experience a healthy bond. Mostly due to Independence vs Interdependence...Independent living by one or both spouses makes agreements difficult, and it severely limits unity and trust. Because there is limited Openness or better said No ability to be Open...It's Control based...And the desire for Control is usually the product of abuse, or low self esteem which limits the ability to trust....No trust = limited bonding....

Late life marriages are a whole new challenge to the bonding process. But there are many first (long time) marriages who never bond in a healthy way...What does our life styles proclaim as being important to of each of us? (This truth of our realities is better recognized by *observation* instead of conversation. Actions or truths!, Words? well sadly, they can be more based on who we wish we were lol..See, we all love ourselves;), so words will just cloud it up a lot of times)  If we never find unity (pulling in the same directions, having a reality where our Time, Attention and Care are placed in the same area's of life and living, *Unity*) in the things that pertain to what a marriage is meant to be, more than likely we will fail to experience a healthy bond. One built on Love and Trust..

So the six million dollar question is:...Can we thrive as individuals locked into the dysfunction of a marriage where we aren't experiencing a healthy bond? Yes we can, if we never turn angry or bitter, if we never allow our minds (thinking of thoughts) to make excuses for us, (Me)  based on the differences and the limited abilities....Yes! I have found out if I hit the floor every morning dealing w/ me (the only person I have the power to discipline or change)...Living a thankful life of blessing counting, never being a victim, and never practice excusing myself from being accountable to be the attentive loving husband (as much as her independent reality will allow, I can never force unity) that I should be...

Life is short! Lets get to it, make a difference for someone to day:)



Be Kind to the Blind; but never trust them to help your children cross the street.....Huuuumm...:) think about it..???