Incessantly gropes me; history of sxual trauma

My husband is ADHD and I am not; we've been married 17 years. I love him dearly. His ADHD habits, however, make me feel worn down and thin on years of patience. His habit is to grope and grab me when I'm in the midst of activities such as cooking and other household duties. I have a history of sxual trauma that leaves me always in a state of alert self protection. While I've done years of counseling and therapy, he is not open to it. He keeps telling me that it's what he wants and I need to get over it. I'm so very, very uncomfortable and even scared at the idea of non-consentual sexual touch and intimacy. I feel like if we could connect at the best friends level again, it would help. When I speak up to voice "here's what would help me", in a non-accusing manner, he always counters with "well I need sex" (and sometimes "because I'm a guy, I need it). I'm 41 years old and tired, but love him and want it to work.