I just need to rant or I'll scream and I'm not in a place to do that!
So ADHD H is still obsessed with his ex. He states he hates her and I'm sure he does but he also talks about her everyday, seriously! He also goes on and on about how hot and perfect she was/is. I've heard way more details about this woman than I care to and H has compared me to her for 2 years and she often ends up the better of the 2 of us. UGH!
Yes, I have told him time and time again that it's not ok. I've told him how it makes me feel, I mean how would he feel? Seriously, he could care less if it makes me feel inadequate or hurt. He does whatever he wants to do.
So, he found her Pinterest account recently. He save a picture of her and her daughter, he said so he could see his once Step daughter, but his ex was in the photo. Then he went on about how stunning they were and how amazing their eyes are. He made me look and said, "Come on, those are pretty girls!".
I mentioned that he probably should save pics without the ex but he kept it.
Then he found her Instagram account and pour thru her page. He went into detail about how she looks what she was doing...I asked if he wanted to know about his kids, why not go to their account? He said he was learning more from hers...he then tried to show me and I refused to look.
Well, this morning he asks me to find her Pinterest account and save all the pics of her I can find because all he can get is thumb nails because he has no account. He really needs the full photo. I wanted to hit him upside the head. I said nothing so we wouldn't fight. I sent him a text and asked if he really needed me to do this. I told him that I feel that it's disrespectful and hurtful to ask me to do so but if he needs this photos I will get them.
And he has the nerve to call me insane!
Unbelieveable
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
Seriously.....if you're still believing that he only has ADHD, please don't. This is not the behavior of someone with ONLY ADHD.
lol...and why would he "need" the actual full size photos? I suspect he's creating some "memory lane" file of her pics for him to enjoy and fantasize about. He must either think that you're stupid or he is so obsessed with her that he can't think beyond the obsession. And, yes, he is obsessed with her. This is a complete obessesion....from the way he talks about her and the way he talks about her to you....and now the pics.
I Agree With Your Here OW
Submitted by kellyj on
This blaming pattern and calling the other person crazy is really saying that he is the one who is crazy ( what's crazy or insane anyway?). That's not the current nomenclature! lol APD, NPD, BPD are the current acronyms for his behavior pattern not just ADHD. The obsessive part might be indirectly related but that's not the problem. The problem with folks that do fall into this pattern of behavior is the more guilt and shame they feel from their own behavior......the more blame guilt and shame they accurse you of and put on you...or at least, only if you take it in and believe them. Calling you crazy is a just convenient all inclusive package to send it in. The smear campaign is foretelling more bad behavior is on the way or excusing their own after the fact (the preemptive strike). They have absolutely no tolerance for feeling guilt or shame. It just builds up inside them and festers until it becomes unbearable for them and they've got to get rid of that somehow? yikes!
It like a guilt and shame generator that just keeps manufacturing more all on it's own with no help or input from you. What you get in all cases from them is "your crazy". The worst thing you can possible do to a person like this ( not advisable ) is to publicly shame them by openly showing them the irrefutable truth with witnesses and then walk away and without giving them the chance for rebuttal. That's the equivalent of pad locking the projection door (the out door) with no way for the guilt and shame to escape. double yikes!!! That's like a pressure cooker with a broken release valve.....look out!!
In reality.....this will make you crazy if you let it. My only advise here is....don't let it! :)
J