I am married to a man with ADHD, he has had his diagnosis for 3 years and is on meds. We also have a 6 year old son with ADHD, also on meds. I have just read the book ADHD and marriage, experienced a lot of "moment of clarity" these past few weeks while reading. Not just about my husband but also how my own behavior has contributed to where we are today. Our relationship has been a rollercoaster, constant ups and downs, doing better when I chose to ignore him and kind of doing my own thing, taking care and providing for our kids etc. I understand, that in order to make a change, we both need insight in how both of our behavior and responses to one another affects our daily life and ultimately our marriage. But we both need that insight, I think I have insight and have had for a long time. But my husband JUST screamed at me that the fact that he is rude, say mean things to me and treats me demeaning in private but also in front of our friends, is because I am saying stupid s**t the whole time. I want to work on our marriage but I don't see how I can get anywhere when everything is always MY fault and he lacks insight in how his own behavior/responses is affecting our relationship. Any input on how to gain insight and self-reflection in order to move forward towards change?