I have aquestion for non-ADDers: How do you respond when you spouse tells you she meant to do something, but in fact, didn't? I'm not talking about a situation in which she forgot to do something she said she was going to do. I'm talking about something else.
The kind of situation I am talking about here is one where she has actually heard me that I would appreciate it if she sometimes would do some of the things that I usually do - like get the morning coffee, empty the dishwasher, start the laundry, etc., and she intends to do one of these things before I do it, but then I do it before she gets to it.
So she'll say something like "Oh, *I* was going to get the coffee this morning" when I bring her coffee, or "Oh shoot, *I* was going to empty the dishwasher" when she sees me emptying the dishwasher. So I hear that she would like to do these things for me once in awhile (and I believe her), but she hasn't been able to turn the intent into an action.
Sometimes my response is a genuine appreciation of "well, at least she was thinking of it and that means she heard what I said". Sometimes it's more of a sarcastic thought of "oh that's nice, a lot of good her thinking about it did." And sometimes, when she implies that it is my fault she didn't do it, because I'm just too fast in doing it myself and so I didn't give her a chance to do it, (or when she actually tells me she would have done it if only I wasn't so quick to do it) it actually pisses me off.
I have never responded to those kinds of statements because I'm just not sure what to say.