I am new to this group and just wanted to share an intro. I am a non adhd spouse to someone who we have just began to realize meets all of the criteria for ADHD. Our relationship is in crisis and I am feeling defeated and desperate and don't know which way to turn. I am glad that I found this group. It's all coming crashing down on me just how much this has been affecting his/our life for the past 14 years. I have just been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and feel that the root cause is burnout from running a household with 3 kids plus the grown up kid and a business (that I had to start just so he would have a job and contribute financially) essentially on my own. I feel like a puppet master and if I drop the strings it will all come crashing down. I am on the verge of leaving. It is on my mind most of the days I feel like I am planning an escape from entrapment. I am having a very hard time controlling my frustration and irritation and it is causing great dysfunction in our family. I would easily leave this very minute, actually years ago, if we didn't have kids. At the same time I don't want our family to break up and I am scared to leave my kids with him for any amount of time due to his inattentiveness and lack of ability to run a household and be a primary parent in general. I don't have anyone to talk about this with. Honestly, when I think about talking about it with my friends I feel like they won't understand and that it's just not a big deal. Any words of advice or support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for holding space here.