Tonight, after all these years, I broke down and cried as I realized that our home isn't the place of peace and comfort that a home should be.
It was heart-breaking knowing that my H's mental issues have prevented our family from having the "home is safe" environment. At any time he can become extremely angry, we walk on eggshells, and that's not what "home" is supposed to be like....at all. My home growing up was not like that. Sadly, H's father raged, so he got a bad image of what's "ok".
For many years I encouraged H to work a lot, go to the gym a lot....really to keep him out of our hair. But since he had a hip replacement and then later retired, the more recent years have been spend with him around the house more...causing trouble.