Issues with sex and my add wife

Firstly, my wife can forget sex for weeks and weeks. That alone is enough to make me just not like sex with her, but I get it and am trying to live with being invisible to her.

but, she can't seem to adjust, change or negotiate a better sex life. If we are having sex, she will do things that don't work for me. No problem, I think, just let her know and all will be well. Not so. Firstly, she freaks out if you ever try to negotiate adjustments in any situation. I'm borderline diabetic and as long as I am strict about what and when I eat I am good. Ask her to pause for a bite when she doesn't want to and you are likely to get shredded with every put down she can think of. 'maybe if you weren't so fat we wouldn't have to stop all the time.' I'm no more overweight than she is. This happens in the bedroom too. If the speed or pressure isn't working, god forbid I say anything. When I actually do get her to listen, it won't stay in her memory for more than a day. 


So how do I ever like sex if she is completely incapable of adjusting and ignores me? I've been with other women so I know that it's normal to say I like this and not that... But it seems my wife literally can't adjust. She becomes very irate and demeaning if I even try.


is it possible that her add exhibits in a way that pretty much erases her memory? How do I have sex now? It's gotten so bad that the thought of having sex with her turns me off 100 percent. I don't have ED... Just not sexually attracted to her selfishness anymore.


info and advice appreciated.