It all makes sense now!

I have been with my husband for 7 years, married 1 year. He is the most emotionally intelligent, kind, loving man ever. We didn't live together at first so we found it easy to eek out the honeymoon period but since properly living together for the past 5 years and having children I have felt like I am going slowly mad and falling in to a pit of chronic anger. More recently I have questioned wether I can continue to commit my life to him, which seems ridiculous considering the love we have for each other and the morals and foundations of our relationship being near on perfect. It's the day to day stuff that has been destroying me/us. He doesn't appear to listen to me and seems to zone out and he looks like he doesn't care when people are talking to him, he constantly flits from one task to another becoming obsessed with something (designing ios apps at the moment) but never fully completing them before moving on to the next obsession. He is really messy, but in an odd way, not noticing the things that appear obvious to me and walking past his pants on the floor. He loses track of time and does something random instead of the thing he needs to do to get ready and then we all get super stressed when we are late somewhere. When i ask him to do a task he seems to do it not quite as I wanted and randomly changes a part of it to something he wants to do. I have always seen it as selfish, self obsessed, lazy and spoilt, which sounds really mean and in lots of ways I really know he isn't these things but its all my brain could conclude. It's been really difficult to run a house and have children with him and I have really felt awful with the hateful emotions I have towards him sometimes. I feel like I have to carry the burden of the household and if something needs doing I don't quite trust him, but I have never been able to quite articulate why as it seems like normal relationship problems to other people. Well I started reading about ADD yesterday after a colleague (who acts very much like my husband) said she has it and, wow, I just cried straight away spent the evening with my husband last night researching and learning and now I'm here trying to save my marriage... where should we start?