Is it him, me or ADHD?

I have a relationship with a man with ADHD that recently ended.  I love him so much.  I am heartbroken that it ended, but without counseling, we were at an impasse.  It had become less than functional.  We were not married, but I believed it was serious.  He was the only man I've ever considered marrying, but maybe I was just confusing my hopes with what was real.  I am so confused.  His actions never really matched up to his words.  ADHD, or was he just not that into me?  I am very generous and supportive and can often give "too much" without realizing and perhaps be taken for granted.  I believed he loved me back because I just felt it.  He repeatedly ignored my needs even when I expressed directly.  I asked for one "date night" a month.  ADHD procrastinates, and we both have children so we did have lots of family time.  We ended up on 3 dates in a year.  It mattered.  He would get angry if I asked.  Communication was a problem, like one time I asked if he was losing interest and he blew up.  Did I hit a nerve, or is it ADHD?  We also never had sex.  We are both religious, but it was really totally non physical. It was weird that he never even tried.  Right now I feel betrayed, played, and kind of used.  He suggested counseling, and 3 months went by and I mistakenly let things pile up waiting for it.  He had specific criteria for a counselor, so he was going to find one.  When I suggested it, he got mad and ended the relationship instead of choosing to work on it.  Was he just not that into me?  Any insight?