Is it Him, Me or OUR ADHD? - I'm going nuts!

I'm so angry right now I can't think straight and need honest feedback! I know I have ADHD and 99% sure my husband has it. Below is a situation that just happened and I need to know who's responsible him, me or OUR adhd?

We're in the car at the library that's about to close. In a sea of CDs it's taking him more than 5 minutes to find the discs that go in the 8 CDs he needs to return. I watch there patiently thinking he definitely has ADHD. Still trying to find discs, he places some on top of my computer bag which is on my lap saying"hold these", 5 seconds later I move to touch/play with my child who is getting bored in the seat behind me, so 1-2 of the discs he put on my laptop fall down. He's upset and says thank you for throwing my stuff, like it was done on purpose. I tell him "hey I wasn't paying attention" (now I'm thinking that's because I have ADHD) then he says "sure, as long as it's MY stuff it doesn't matter what happens to it." I raise my voice "I said I wasn't paying attention". Him: "sure".

I feel like an engine on fire, I want to scream from the top of my lungs pure outburst, but resort to adjusting my seat and mumble "OMG JESUS help me with this crap". I was about to have an angry outburst but managed to calm down. He leaves the car, goes to the library. In the car I'm still trying to get over my anger and I'm not saying a word to him, even after he gets back. I talk calmly to the kids but not a word to him. I'm already at a rocky point in our relationship and this is more fuel to the fire. As we drive home I'm thinking, is it his fault or my fault. then I think this is OUR adhd issue, and we both need to do our part to manage our symptoms. As we get home I'm still angry and not talking to him, then he goes to grab my ass... in my head I'm like DON"T TOUCH ME! He's completely forgotten about what happened like 20 minutes ago.

We may be having a great day and then something like this happens. I used to get depressed and upset about things like this in the past, sometimes all day. But now what I am about to do is say I'm DONE! Can't have these up and downs anymore. Then he does not want to learn about adhd, and doubts he has it. I cannot manage his ADHD on top of mine. Being a mom and working full-time it's too much.

So, it's your word, is it him, me or OUR adhd?