"It just so happens that your marriage here is only MOSTLY dead..."

"...There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive."

A month and a half ago, before I was diagnosed, DW was ready to move out and get divorced.  Finances prevent us from doing that for the next year, and she moved into the spare bedroom instead.

In the meantime...

  • I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I now understand what had been going wrong for the last 14 years.
  • My doctor and I are experimenting with medication...  We haven't got it quite right yet, but I can already tell the difference.
  • This week I had my first session with an ADHD coach...  We talked about what I'm already doing right, and I what need to work on.  She's coming up with a plan, and we dig in next week.  It looks promising.
  • DW mentioned that it feels pretty bad right now, but it'll be a year until we can make a final decision about separating or divorce...  but she also admitted that things could change in that time.
  • In passing conversation, DW has been talking about what we should plant in the garden next summer, and other long-range home improvement plans.
  • We can sit and talk again, and have a good long conversation about how our respective days went.
  • We can still laugh at the same jokes.
  • Though she's been physically and romantically distant, she gave me a hug on Father's Day.

Just a little hope that we can build a new, better relationship and breathe life into our marriage again spurs me on.