My marriage is in a pretty dire state right now and I have been reading posts by others whose husbands have been in denial about their AD/HD. It seems like in many of the posts I have read the couples ended up separating permanently as the AD/HD husband never saw the need to change. My question is: Is it even possible that my husband might "see the light" and get treatment?
My situation is that about 5 weeks ago I asked my husband to seek treatment or move out as I could no longer deal with his angry outbursts followed by periods of not speaking to me for several days. It was as though anything I did that he did not agree with would set him off. He decided to move out and has told me that he cannot seek treatment just because I want him to. I cannot be so demanding and rigid and just expect him to do whatever I want.
He moved back into the condo we were using as a rental property. He has periodically communicated with me, though he has said we can only email because talking on the phone is "too emotional." His emails have been strange, and when I have spoken with him he sounds almost robotic and not at all like himself. Last week he told me that he and I cannot communicate for awhile to give him time to figure out if he has anger problems just from being with me or if they are truly an issue he brings to the table.
Additionally, he began drinking fairly heavily every night for the past 6 months and, though he says he probably does drink too much, he continues to do so. I think this makes his anger worse. His drinking got worse so gradually that it took him being too hung over to go to work on a random Tuesday that made me see he had a problem. He takes Stratera but does nothing to treat his ADHD behaviorally, and to share a quote I like "Pills don't teach skills." I am sure the alcohol doesn't help with the effectiveness of the Stratera.
He has always had trouble with dealing with anything emotional and has had trouble with expressing empathy. For example if I was upset and needed support instead of being comforting he would tell me I needed to learn how to comfort myself and would be irritated with me rather than supportive. I would like to believe that the man I knew at the beginning of our 6 and 1/2 year marriage is going to come back and decide to get help, but I am afraid the chances of this may be slim.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and seen their DH turn it around?