First let me say that finding this website and Melissa's book have been like finding a life preserver in a stormy sea where I was about to drown. I guess it has been about a month and where I thought there was no hope I am finding hope again.
Background....my ADHD husband and I am coming up on our 22nd anniversary. He was misdiagnosed back in 2003 and then accurately diagnosed by a different psychologist in the summer of 2008. Within a couple of months we also had an ADD diagnoses for our youngest daughter who was 14 at the time. For both of them getting the diagnoses and medicines were amazing. My daughter started getting straight A's and my husband excelled at work like he had never been able to before.
2010 did not come in so good. Our oldest daughter (then 20) was in an abusive relationship and would not let go. This practically tore the family apart. Lots of blame was being thrown around. So a decision was made to move away from Ohio and the situation to Tennessee. This was the right decision in almost every way. 20 year old daughter followed and left abusive boyfriend in Oh. We moved in May and my ADHD husband has not been able to find work. This is taking quite a toll on everyone and as I now understand it is the way we have been trying to cope that needs to change. Leaving a great ADHD support system in Oh it has became apparent that it is time to find one down here in TN. There has been one road block after another though. For some reason in Murfreesboro, TN ADHD is not common (or at least diagnosed) so there do not seem to be a large amount of resources that are use to the dynamics it presents much less those in the relationship.
Bottom line.....after looking within a radius of 30 miles there just is not a marriage counselor that typically deals with this. We did meet with one tuesday night that is pro-marriage and I did find that refreshing. He is also going to read Melissa's book for us. He does seem very open to the idea that we don't dwell on the past but look forward to finding a better way to function within the relationship. Do you think it is possible that this will help? Can it be that any steps toward better communication are better than none? Or is it that someone not use to dealing with the ADHD dynamic will actually do more harm than good? I am feeling very stuck like this is my only option but wanted to get some opinions.