"If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact - not to be solved, but to be coped with over time."
- Shimon Peres (1923 - ), 9th President of the State of Israel
This statement really rang true for me. Men in general are problem solvers. We want to fix. Sometimes there is no solution because there is no problem. Gravity can be perceived as a problem but it is actually a fact that is valued and depended upon. Modern science has allowed us to cope with it over time. I have come to view ADD the same way. Your spouses different way of thinking, being labeled as ADD, is a fact as firm as gravity. It is not to be solved but instead coped with and in many cases valued and depended upon. Color blindness is considered a deficiency in sight and yet it is the color blind person that can see through the camouflage. Have you ever noticed that the ADD Spouse can look at a drawer full of disorganized junk and find the the exact tool or part they needed. They live with that every day so to them that is nothing exceptional. I find that amazing. Like a super power. We must remember they are coping with our world as we are to theirs. When we look for and share the exceptional of each world as a team we stop criticizing the differences.
I love her so