I have been married for 15 years. We have 4 beautiful children but our marriage is really on the rocks. While we live under the same roof, we may as well live in separate states. I am an undiagnosed ADHD male spouse. My marriage has been struggling for sometime now and I really did not understand why. I am an educated successful professional, but can not fix the problems in my own home. I can not tell you how frustrating it is to be a problem solver and can not seem to solve my own problems. After reading the post on this forum particularly from the non-adhd female spouses, I get it. Finally I get it. My wife has gone from, wow this is great, to what was that, to something is not right, to there it goes again, to frustration, to anger, to bitterness, to being numb. I originally thought that it takes 2 to make a marriage work and to some degree I still do, but after I have been disconnected for so long and being a typical male ADHD husband, I am beginning to understand the depth of her hurt. I love my wife dearly, but I do not know how to get pass the walls of protection that she has built around herself to protect her from being disappointed or hurt by my actions. I do not know how to rebuild our relationship. I do not know how to push pass the loneliness and sometimes despair that I feel in order to reach her. I do not know how much longer I can hold on to nothing. If it took 15 years to get here, will it take that long to get out of this mess?
Submitted by catch22adhd on 05/01/2012.